Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Capturing Memories


I love my job as a Sales Professional for Lifetouch National School Studios. I love this job that I started just over a year ago like nothing else I’ve ever done professionally. I finally found a career and company that allow me to sell something I truly enjoy and believe in, as well as giving me the ability to have a schedule that matches my children’s school schedule. I honestly feel like God put this opportunity in my lap just when I needed it. Those are some of the things that I love about my job, but what about things I don’t enjoy about the job? Afterall, nothing is perfect.

I experienced a part of my career today that is both a blessing and heartbreaking all at the same time. I work with schools from elementary up through high school and unfortunately, sometimes these schools are dealt a tragedy in dealing with the loss of a student. Lifetouch provides a “sympathy” package of photos to go to the family of any of our students who pass away. It’s something that makes me proud to be in the line of work that I am, while at the same time being the one thing that I have absolutely dreaded having to be a part of.

Today I had the heartbreaking duty of delivering a sympathy package to one of my elementary schools who lost one of their students and families this past week after a car accident. This sweet child passed away on Sunday (Mother’s Day) as I sat in church trying to enjoy my own celebration with my husband and children but couldn’t help thinking of this young girl’s mother who was grieving the loss of her husband and two children on this holiday. How could I possibly celebrate with my own family when thinking of a woman who had just lost three of the most important people in her life? I prayed. I prayed for her strength and comfort and I thanked God that he left her on Earth to care for her remaining children. I’m also thankful that I have a career that allows me to capture moments of a life in progress to share with their families. Ideally, these moments are captured and enjoyed for years to come but in instances like these, I am grateful that the memories exist for loved ones to have in honor of a life lived, loved and treasured.

I don’t think that I will ever view picture day at one of my school’s the same and I know that I definitely won’t take picture day for granted again when it comes to my own children. Do you sometimes look at the school picture order form and cringe at the price or inconvenience in scheduling? The next time those thoughts come to mind as you are preparing for school picture day, I would challenge you to think…”Would I feel the same way if I knew these might be the last photos of my child ever taken?”


Seize the time we have with our loved ones now and grab a camera to capture those memories. Hopefully we will all look back on them fondly as we sit rocking in our chairs years into the future but if we aren’t granted that wish, at least we will have captured the memories to remember and share with others.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

April Is Child Abuse Awareness Month

I just posted an article on the All Things Diva website in honor of Child Abuse Awareness Month. I would encourage all of you to check it out and let me know what you think. Not only will you learn more about me, but you will get some insight into one of my biggest passions as well.

http://allthingsdiva.net/archives/3061

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Savoring Sweet Snuggles


I'm realizing more and more how quickly the years have flown by since the kids were born. When you're in the midst of the baby stage and toddler years, everyone tells you it will fly by and even though we know it's true we still tend to deny it.

I look at my beautiful little girl these days and realize that she is more young woman than she is little girl. We only have 7 years left until she goes away to college and leaves us and I KNOW those 7 years are going to fly by. She is kind, loving, mature, well spoken, talented, an Honor Roll student and loves volunteering and giving of her time. As parents, Mike and I couldn't be more proud of her and I know that we've done a great job as parents when I look at her. Every once in awhile she will ask me to lay down and snuggle with her at bedtime and just recently asked if we could have a "sleepover" in her room sometime soon.


On the other hand, no matter how old Robbie gets, I still always look at him as "My Baby." At 9 years old, I know that we're in store for big changes with him just around the corner as well. However, Robbie is still the child who just can't go to sleep without his hug and kiss from Mom. I also have to promise him that I will come back and check on him AFTER he's fallen asleep. While he generally chooses Dad over Mom for most things, it's always me that he wants when he's not feeling well or needing some extra snuggles. He loves the chance to sleep with me at night if Mike just happens to be out of town. Even though I look forward to the opportunity to have the bed to myself for a night or two, I just can't resist giving in for at least one night. With Mike gone for a couple of nights this week, Robbie immediately asked if he could sleep with me. I let him last night and as we snuggled and he wrote sweet I Love You Mom messages to me on his Nintendo DS, I savored the moment knowing that pretty soon he will consider himself too big to sleep with Mom when Dad is away. Even though this is the child who constantly seems to be into something and is giving me a new grey hair each day, I still look at him and see his sweet smile and hear his sweet voice saying "Mom will you come tuck me in?" and I know all of the grey hairs are worth it and I can never stay upset with him for long. While he has a talent for always finding trouble somehow, he is also a great student, fantastic athlete and has a true heart of gold and I know that again, we've done a great job as parents...God just decided to spice it up a little the second time around!


As we wrap up 3rd and 5th grade this year, I am SAVORING everything I can with them right now. Watching Ashley grow and mature in her school and pageant activities and watching Robbie excel in sports and academics just makes the sweet snuggle moments even more precious because I know they will be gone before I know it and they'll just be a sweet memory.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

March Madness In The Berry House

Rewind to April 2002 when Robbie was 4 months old, and that was the start of our journey into the world of asthma. He came down with RSV and after multiple visits to the doctor’s office and many sleepless nights, it eventually turned into pneumonia and we found ourselves spending 4 nights at Children’s Hospital. It was so difficult to see my sweet baby boy trapped in the crib where I couldn’t hold him as he was connected to oxygen and more monitors than I could count. Ashley was 2 at the time and was unable to come to the hospital (she had a cold) so Mike stayed with her while I spent 4 days by Robbie’s cribside. He eventually went home but continued to spend a month on oxygen until he fully recovered.

Now that he is 9, it seems like so long ago. We’ve had numerous episodes of pneumonia over the years and are pros at using inhalers and nebulizers. I often laugh when asked if he is allergic to any medications because it seems like he has been on everything imaginable at some point. I remember the days when he used to cry and cry about having a neb treatment and for the past few years it’s just become a way of life and he watches tv or plays a video game during the 10-15 minutes that it takes to get a treatment. He knows when to pull himself out of a baseball or football game to get an inhaler if needed, as well as going to the clinic at school if gym class or recess aggravate his breathing. The problem is that Robbie has had asthma since he was an infant and because of that, he doesn’t know what it feels like to be completely well. He knows that he feels worse when he has a cold or the weather changes or any other number of environmental factors, but he has never known what it feels like to breathe at 100% lung capacity.

Now we fast forward to March 2011. Robbie had his flu shot this year. Robbie ALWAYS gets his flu shot because he is high-risk. However, sometimes new flu strains come out and the flu shot has not been developed to protect us from them yet. This is what happened to Robbie when he came down with Influenza B at the beginning of March. He was immediately treated with Tamiflu (the whole family was), as well as Prednisone to protect his lungs. The flu was miserable for my poor baby boy and I’ve never seen him so physically distraught and in pain before. It eventually passed after a week and he completed his course of Tamiflu and Prednisone. Even as the flu cleared up, I could still tell that his nagging, congested cough was still hanging around so I had him doing neb treatments once a day or so. He has never been one to wake up in the middle of the night to say that he needed his inhaler but that started happening on March 12th & 13th so I started keeping a closer eye on him. Then on the morning of March 14th he woke up for school and said that he was having difficulty breathing. I had him take a neb and asked if he thought he could get through the school day because he had already missed so much this year (with pneumonia in Nov and the recent bout of the flu) and he said yes and off he went.

Monday’s are the only days that I go into the office because I have back to back meetings. This particular Monday, Mike was also tied up for work on the other side of town as well. Just as I settled in at the office and was about to walk into my first meeting, I got the call that I had been expecting. When the school name shows up on my caller ID I know it is always for one of two things; 1) Robbie is in trouble or 2) Robbie is sick. I’m used to these calls and know that it generally means that we will go home and take it easy, do some neb treatments and possibly get in to see the doctor. I asked the school nurse if she thought Robbie could hold off an extra 30 mins so that I could at least squeeze in my first meeting and then I would leave work and skip the second one. My boss even told me to go ahead and leave right then, but I said “No, I’m used to this and we’ll be ok for a few extra minutes.” We quickly went through the meeting and I packed up and headed home to get Robbie. When I got to the school I could tell right away that he wasn’t feeling well at all so we hurried home and started a neb. As he was getting the neb, I conference called in for my 2nd meeting and put it on mute. He came downstairs and I could still tell he wasn’t any better and sent him upstairs for a 2nd neb…which didn’t go over well with him at all. I continued to participate in my conference call until Robbie came downstairs after the 2nd treatment. As he stood at the top of the stairs, before he even made it down to me, I could hear the Darth Vader sound and knew this was VERY bad. As he grabbed at his throat gasping for air, I immediately hung up the phone and called the Pediatrician. They said to bring him in immediately so the second Ashley walked in the door, we quickly rushed to the car with Robbie throwing a fit because of the bad mood he was still in over having to take the 2nd neb treatment.

As we walked into the pediatrician’s office, they immediately rushed us back and skipped all of the usual weigh-ins, etc… Generally, we go in and they take some time getting him hooked up to the pulse ox machine and starting a neb treatment. THIS TIME was different from any other. I watched in fear as the doctor didn’t even speak to me as she literally ran out of the room and back and forth down the hallway trying to get him on oxygen as fast as she could and getting a neb treatment started before even addressing me. Once Robbie was hooked up, not really knowing that anything out of the ordinary was going on, she asked me to join her in hallway. Once we were out of the room, she told me that we needed to get Robbie to the hospital IMMEDIATELY. She asked if I wanted to drive myself or put him in an ambulance. Knowing we would all be freaked out and he would also be connected to oxygen, I opted for the ambulance ride and she eagerly agreed that was the right decision. At that point, I started to tear up and fought the strong urge to cry so that I wouldn’t frighten Robbie or Ashley any more than I knew they would already be. I started frantically calling people, trying to get ahold of Mike (and getting his voicemail) and a good friend who I knew would be willing to take Ashley as long as needed. Mike called back just as the ambulance was arriving and said he would meet us at the hospital. Ashley had held up so well and started to lose it just as I was trying to get out the door with Robbie on the stretcher and into the ambulance. I felt so torn leaving her there scared and in tears or going with Robbie, but I knew I had no choice and my friend would be there any moment to get her and comfort her so with a quick hug and kiss, I apologized and climbed into the ambulance with Robbie.


We ended up being in the ER until about 11:00 PM and during that time Robbie was receiving constant oxygen and nebs with no change to his pulse ox. He was on the highest dosage of oxygen possible, which was what frightened me so much when we weren’t seeing ANY improvements in his condition. They ran tests for RSV, pneumonia, flu and anything else they could think of, and everything came back clear leading us to believe that this was simply a severe asthma attack brought on by the flu he had just gotten over. It was clear that he needed to be admitted to the hospital overnight and with all of the meds and fluids they were trying to get in him, they decided to put in an IV. Putting an IV in a child who completely freaks out over flu and immunization shots is NOT fun. As 3 of us pinned him down, he screamed as loud as he could, “Why are you doing this to me?” and it absolutely broke my heart. They decided that not only did he need to be admitted overnight, but that he needed to go to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit because of the constant care he needed at that point.

When we were finally moved to Robbie’s room in PICU, I watched as my sweet boy was not only connected to the mask that kept a constant flow of oxygen and nebs going to him, but he also had 3 patches attached to his chest to constantly monitor his vitals and the pulse ox attached to his finger and the IV running constant meds and fluid as well. I looked at my little baby and couldn’t believe that at this point he had been on non-stop breathing treatments, oxygen and meds for almost 12 hours with no improvement at all. His pulse ox was staying consistent in the low 80’s, which is dangerously low since that was even on full oxygen support. There was no telling how bad it was off the oxygen at that point.

We stayed in PICU from Monday through Wednesday before we were moved to the Pediatric floor, where we stayed until Friday afternoon. During the course of the week, my sweet Ashley was shuffled here and there and spent each day not knowing where she would be going after school or where she would be sleeping that night. Mike stayed at home with her 2 nights but I simply couldn’t bring myself to leave the hospital for longer than an hour or so with my little boy laying in a hospital bed. Robbie eventually started getting some life back into him and he would sit in his bed and color or build Lego’s or play board games with us. He enjoyed getting a giant envelope full of cards from his classmates and I made daily calls and emails to the school and his teacher with updates. By Wednesday, we were finally turning a corner and he was going to be moved to the Pediatric Ward. For the first time in 48 hours, he was able to get up and walk around even though he still had to have his oxygen cart with him. However, he hadn’t seen Ashley since Monday and was starting to get really upset about missing our dear puppy Bella. He occasionally just sat and cried because he missed Bella so much. Each day we kept wondering if it would be the last day before we went home, but each time they tried to cut down on the level of oxygen he was receiving, his pulse ox would drop back down to the mid to upper 80’s, which was still too low. Once we moved out of PICU I started asking for visitors to help cheer him up. Ashley was finally able to see him on Thursday and he was also surprised with a visit from his teacher and some family friends. When I picked Ashley up from school that day to bring her to the hospital, I went to Robbie’s class to read a thank you letter he had written to his classmates for all of the cards they had sent to him. As soon as I opened my mouth to read the letter, I choked up and had to tell his teacher that I just couldn’t do it and she would have to read it. It was so overwhelming to stand in a room full of 9 year olds and read a letter from my little boy who had been sitting in a hospital bed all week. Even though I didn’t open my laptop the entire time we were in the hospital, I found comfort and strength in the texts, emails and Facebook messages from friends and family who were praying for Robbie’s recovery.


On Friday morning we woke up still not sure if this would be the day we went home or not. After Robbie had an emotional meltdown the night before about how much he missed Bella, Mike drove out to the hospital for a reunion with a little boy and his beloved puppy. Shortly afterwards, we got the news that Robbie was finally allowed to go home. He stayed on oxygen until about 2 hours before he was discharged and then sent home with a full medical cocktail of 7 prescriptions and 3 breathing aids, as well as instructions that he would need to stay inside for the week. We had 2 follow-ups with the pediatrician that week and finally a full week after being discharged, he received a clean bill of health!

You would think my poor baby boy’s health struggles would have ended there, but not quite. Only a day after being taken off of activity restrictions and looking forward to the coming Spring Break, Robbie was hit with a violent stomach virus. Mike and I watched in fear this past Saturday as Robbie sat in his bed doubled over in severe pain and screaming at the top of his lungs. Unsure if it was the stomach virus we had been told was going around (we had picked him up from school on Thursday when he threw up, but had been fine since) or if it was something more severe like appendicitis. Fortunately, after an extremely rough night on Saturday and taking it easy on Sunday, Robbie woke up on Monday feeling better than he had for the past month! It seems as if we have finally turned a corner and I am hopeful that we will be able to put our families version of March Madness behind us and look forward to a much healthier Spring and Summer. We will be meeting with a Pulmonologist in April and already have a plan in place to help Robbie hopefully get through the summer without any further issues.

My little boy was a real trooper through everything and continues not to complain about the added medications that are now a part of his daily routine. Although I have become a bit obsessed with getting the house as clean as possible (not even a spec of dust is allowed!) and monitoring his activity level to extremes, I know that I am going a bit overboard because of the guilt I feel at wanting to get through that first meeting at work before I left to pick him up from school. After 9 years, I thought I knew what I would be walking into for his treatment that afternoon and am still dealing with extreme guilt at not recognizing the true seriousness of this episode initially. As a mom, it will be hard to shake that feeling and all I can do is learn to recognize some of the more serious symptoms and know that my son loves me no matter what and will always want Mommy hugs and kisses most of all when he is sick.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Adventures In Writing


I was introduced to a new website and Facebook page recently for a site called All Things Diva. The name itself got my attention and I found that I enjoyed many of the conversation topics and enjoyed contributing my own 2 cents on various subjects quite often. The FB page posted earlier this week that they were looking for a new writer to handle child-rearing topics. I was immediately interested and signed on for the journey. I hope that you will all check out the site and become a fan. It's a fun way for me to explore my creative side a bit more, while being able to actually share my opinions and points of view in raising my own kids. I've written 2 articles now and the title of my column will be Parenting: A Life Often Stressed But Always Blessed! If you haven't already, please come visit us at http://www.jamiekayland.com/.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Warning: I'm One Of Those...A Mother Who Brags About Her Kids!

After having non-stop sickness in the house for 2 weeks straight, we finally made it through a week with NO SICKNESS! It's a good thing too. Between Ashley's pageant last weekend, the start of Robbie's baseball season this week and Mike's birthday tomorrow...we don't have time for any more sickness in the Berry house. Now, please indulge me while I brag on my kids a bit.

Ashley had a pageant last weekend that was actually 2 pageants in one. After weeks of practice, wardrobe prep and training, I knew that she was as prepared as she could possibly be. With my own illness the entire week leading up to the pageant, I found comfort in the fact that she was well prepared and we would just go and have fun. Boy did she have fun! Not only did she make a great new friend, but she SWEPT all of the awards in both pageants for her age division and then tied for the Grand Supreme title! What is Grand Supreme, you ask? It's only the TOP award for the girl who places highest above ALL of the girls in every age division! She may not have won the tie-breaker for Grand Supreme, but the fact that she tied with a 16 year old with years of experience made us burst with pride for her. Now it's time for us to prepare for the upcoming Miss CO Outstanding Sweetheart pageant April 9th and then the state Miss CO American Coed Preteen pageant in June. These competitions will also include talent and interview so we have some new things to focus on right now. Ashley will also have the opportunity to be recognized for her volunteer work in the community, as well as her academic achievements. Speaking of academic achievement, I would like to wrap up my Ashley bragging by sharing that she brought home her report card today with 30 A's and made Honor Roll for the 5th time in a row. One more trimester and she'll have made Honor Roll every trimester for 2 years straight!

Holiday Wear Outfit AKA Christmas
Winning Holiday Wear
2 Titles...Miss Holiday Coed and Miss Valentine Beauty!
Being crowned Miss Holiday Coed.

Now onto Robbie bragging. Robbie LOVES sports. He doesn't just love sports...he lives, breathes, sleeps and eats sports! Football season wrapped up in November, but we are now in the first week of baseball season. Robbie has always been a natural when it comes to baseball and it took us a few years to find an organization where we didn't feel like he wasn't being challenged and learning. Last year we joined Ken Caryl Little League and finally found a good fit. This year Robbie had to try out for his placement on a Minor League team and also tried out for a Select Tournament Team and made it. This means, 2 teams with 2 practice schedules and weekly games for one team and tournaments for the other but we love it because Robbie loves it. Mike is helping to coach the Minor League team (and possibly helping with the Select Team as well) and at a coach's meeting earlier this week he listened as the other coaches (who are also dad's with their own children on the team) talked about Robbie being one of the two best players in all of KCLL! Now I know I'm not being completely biased when I say that he's our future MLB player:-)

Tomorrow we will celebrate Mike's 37th birthday and I'll once again be able to make fun of him for being older than me, at least for 10 months out of the year!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Showin' Daddy ALL The Love


It's always a joke between Mike and I about how the kids always fight over who gets to sit next to him when we go out to eat, to the movies, etc... I've gotten used to it and try not to take it personally, but I HAVE to share 2 statements Robbie made the past week that really show where Mom ranks.

1. There's a Father-Daught Dinner at church next weekend. Ashley was SO excited when Mike gave her the invitation this week and immediately picked out a beautiful dress to wear and has mentioned it at least once a day since she found out about it. That doesn't bother me at all, I LOVE that she will get to have these memories with her Daddy. However, the next morning Robbie came up and asked me if there was only a Father-Daughter Dinner being planned and I said yes, expecting that he would follow up with a statement along the lines of wishing there was a Mother-Son Dinner. WRONG!!! Instead, he asked if they would be having the Father-Son Campout again this year? Yes, my heart sunk immediately but I'm used to it so I chuckled to myself and told Mike.

2. Today after church we went to lucnh. I noticed as I came to the table that Ashley was sitting next to Mike for a change. Robbie very sweetly looked at me and said that he let Ashley sit by Dad and again, I was expecting it to be followed up with something along the lines of him wanting to sit by me. WRONG AGAIN!!! He said it was because he always sits by Dad with no mention whatsoever of him wanting to actually sit by me. Even the dog chooses Mike over me if given a choice!

I know I shouldn't take their comments personally and honestly, no one could be happier than I am that they have such a wonderfully close relationship with their Daddy. Regardless of that, how do I shake the feeling of being totally unappreciated when everything I do is for and about them? Granted, Robbie has told me recently that Daddy tucking him in at night isn't as good as when Mommy does it, but that's probably just because I give him extra time on the tv. In reality, I know they love me just as much as they love Mike and I'm not a mother just to hear that they want to sit by me here or there. I know that when they're sick, it's me that they want. I know that Mommy hugs and kisses at bedtime are of the utmost importance in order to fall asleep. I also know that if they're sick in the middle of the night, it's me who gets woken up with a poke in the face...but that one, I would really rather share with Daddy!